So Mom has only been here for about a day and it's been the greatest. Having her here has made me realize how much I missed out on during my year and two months of self imposed exile from her and my family. This time last year, Mom and I probably would've pulled eachother's hair out and broken things because we didn't get along. I take responsibility for that tension, because I realize now that she was right about John. She's always right. John was trouble and because of my lust and stupidity for him I allowed a rif between my family and me to grow. I allowed a boy who broke my heart repeatedly, who caused me a lot of pain, struggles and heartache to come between me and the most important people in my life.
These past few months without that riff have been amazing! I've gone back to my family, I finally feel like I'm back to being me. I'm the real "me" not some mindless drone that bends to the demands of a stupid boy. Part of me wishes I could go back to the night I lost my mind and tell me to not got there and save myself all the pain that has occurred since then. But I'm not one to regret. I think going through all of that has not only helped my testimony but it also has made me appreciate my family.
2 comments:
I'm jealous that mom's down there. Some of my fav college memories were of mom's visits. I hope you have an awesome time!! Go to the Pastry Pub for me, that's what mom and I always made sure to do. Oh, PS, we like having the REAL you back too. Can't wait until I can come visit!!!!
I love having the 'real' you back too! You've been missed!! I know what it's like to get lost in a really bad relationship! At least you didn't marry him!!!
Have fun with Mom!
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